Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Divorce Land Fans: Code Red!

Alright, first of all the dog ate my homework if you are wondering where the smack my essay is today. It's coming, it's coming.

Truth be told I am almost done with it, I'll post it tonight, which is still technically "still Thursday" so I don't want to hear any whining. (And the reason it is late is because the captain of my dating ship called last night and that guy talks more than I do! Can you believe it? I know! His emails are even longer than mine (YES, shocking!). His life is endlessly fascinating though, I couldn't hang up. The man has met many celebrities through his job in advertising. Like I was going to stop to blog when I could hear a story involving Regis Philbin, Mary Lou Retton, Eric Estrada, a pizza and a Cuban cigar? Exactly.

The captain lives on another planet entirely called "Chi-ca-go." Have you heard of this magical place? Yes, apparently there so many fish in that dating pool you don't even need a hook. Just scoop your hand in and several dates for Saturday night fall into your palm. (One house for sale in Fargo, geez.)

So I was almost done with my essay and then I got side tracked by his yakking. I figured my dating yoda deserves my full attention if I am going to get serious about this.

All THAT being said . . . as long as I am not really writing in the blog today (this does not count, this is just me rambling)I honestly have an urgent need I could use your help with.

I have a friend. We'll call him . . . Elmer. Well, Elmer is considering proposing to his girlfriend that he's been dating for oh, just a century. But he is very, very, VERY unsure. He rationalizes that, "Does anyone ever really know for sure? Who knows if this is the right thing to do or not but she's a great person and I am lucky."

Hello?

McFly?

You may be lucky if she is so great but doesn't sound like she is winning the marriage lottery MR. WAFFLE.

Someday if I ever get married again I hope my boyfriend isn't Mr. Wishy Washy ambiguity. I think this is awful! When you propose shouldn't it be because you can't imagine the rest of your life without this person? Because the alternative is unimaginable? Because you are best friends? The person who you want to share all of life's journeys with? With whom you want to belt out the Dolly Parton and Kenny Roger's duet "Islands in the Stream" every karaoke chance you get?

Should you really have ANY doubt?

I polled my most happily married friends and they all said, "Never a doubt in my mind that he/she was the one."

Soooooooooooooooo . . . for Elmer's sake. For Elmer's girlfriend's sake, Divorce Land readers, can you please weigh in? If you are happily married, did you have any doubts ever? If you are unhappily married, could you have predicted this? If you are divorced, like me, do you see this as a red flag? And if you are idealistic and single, what do you project your feelings will be pre-engagement?

You can post an anonymous comment right below here...see that? See where it says, "Comment"? Just click that little deal and jot a few thoughts down. I moderate my comments so it won't show up immediately but I'll post them as soon as I can. Or, if you would like, go ahead and email me your thoughts to:

fourgirlsonestory@gmail.com

Your identity will be kept confidential and as always, I am the queen of discretion. Weigh in with your thoughts, I'll compile them and ambush Elmer. The guy needs help!

Divorce Land to the rescue! After all, this is one club, that does NOT want more members.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Elmer is not ready to propose. My wife and I have been married for 20 years and I never once wondered if she was "the one." I knew she was the one. Tell him to do the loving thing and let her go. She deserves better than what he can offer.

Anonymous said...

Elmer has been with his girlfriend for a long time you said so if he doesn't know by now if she is the one then he will never know. They should take a break from each other and see if they "miss" each other at all, a little or can't live without each other.