“And this is my friend, Audra,” Naomi motions nonchalantly as she introduces me to her “he’s just a friend” guy friend.
I smile widely and enthusiastically extend my hand, “I’ve heard a lot about you!”
“Nice to meet you, Audra,” he replies and then looks me straight in the eye and deadpans, “You’re hot as hell.”
Welcome to my life lately. That adventures of Audra the hottie.
I don’t know what in tarnation transpired over the past month or so but I have been attracting attention from the opposite sex at a rate that is making my head spin. Literally the MINUTE I decided I could care less if I died alone I couldn't walk five feet without some guy tripping over himself because he couldn’t take his eyes off me.
Am I complaining? Did I say I was complaining? Nope. Not complaining.
Are ya kiddin' me?!?! This rocks!
You know, I hate to admit it but the fact is this is just a consequence of the tried and true advice we all have heard or given ourselves. The saying goes, “The minute you stop looking that’s when the attention shows up.”
"Blah. Blah. Blah," we think if we're the ones subjected to the lecture.
Damn.
I have to admit. It is absolutely true.
Here, let me explain:
I said all summer I didn’t REALLY care if I ended up a wrinkled old hag living alone with 85 cats. I don't care. I do NOT care.
Of course I cared! Who doesn’t care? I was lying through my straight white teeth.
But once I really got over my whining and started really enjoying being footloose and fancy free, and really stopped caring and just decided to be happy regardless, good grief, take a number boys because this line is a long one and I am going need a system to keep you all straight!
Here’s a whole case of points for ya just from the night I got the unsolicited "hot as hell" observation from my friend's "just a friend":
So Naomi and I decide to hit the town last weekend. She brought the big boobs, I brought the nice legs. And we both brought the long hair.
But most importantly? We brought good/let's just have fun/who gives a crap about boys anyway/life is an adventure/let's hit the town/attitudes!
We didn’t go out to find guys. We went out to have fun! Together.
What we should have brought was a big stick to keep the guys away because the drooling over us was so ridiculous.
(Down boy! Down boy!)
Our highlights of the night include: Fending off an entire softball team from South Dakota, (That took talent, those South Dakotans are relentless. Who knew?), being semi-accosted by some guy who claimed to be a former high school students of ours, (“Did you teach him?” “No, I didn’t team him,” “I thought he said you taught him?”) All the while this 26-year-old stood there like a puppy and finally chimed in, “If I’d been in high school when you two were teaching I would have been in heaven!” (Ah, nice try bud!) and ending the night dancing our asses off with a guy I know and adore who has been in this blog previously (ER visit. That’s all I will say!) and a group of his super fun friends. (Okay, that “C walk” thing was freaking hilarious!)
We had a blast!
What a great night.
And the best part is that the only thing Naomi and I brought home with us at the end of the night was a couple of huge . . .
. . . ego boosts!
And an interesting life lesson.
Getting noticed is not at all about looks. Because really, I look the same now as I have all summer and not one soul has expressed any kind of interest in me prior to my finally getting my head out of my ass. That smile that I am so good at projecting on the outside? Yeah, it is worthless if it isn’t radiating from the inside.
So what changed? Simply this: I am happy.
And I AM okay if I die alone.
But I am not dead yet so while I am here I am going to enjoy life. I am going to go out with my girlfriends, dance up a storm, enjoy the fun people whose life path’s cross mine, and genuinely live each and every moment of the life I am so blessed to have.
Forget the long hair and short skirt.
Beauty comes from the inside.
And I don’t care what anyone looks like. If you have confidence and authentic happiness within yourself, then start passing out the numbers. Because that is what draws people to you. That is what makes you fun to be around. And that is the key that makes anyone.
Hot as hell.
***********************
People are liking it when I post pictures. Okay . . . here's one from this weekend. I am golfing. And I am sucking! Check out the reeds in the background? The confused look on my face? (I went with Julia. The blonde leading the blonde, let me tell ya . . .)
I look like a bad version of Britney Spears in this pic actually. Slap a Starbucks in my hand and throw me on the cover of People. (Of all celebs to look like I get compared to her most often, NICE. But notice, she's so NUTS she's not even hot anymore! Ah hem? See my point? Yep. Beauty is from within.)
So here's a picture of me in "Search Mode." And no, I didn't ever find the golf ball, but I did find something a WHOLE lot better than that this weekend. My innter hottie. And all this time she was only one authentic smile away.
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