Chapter Eight Two; The Music of Moments and How Falling Head Over Heels Knocked me on my Ass

Life unfurls so simplistically.

One.

Moment.

At.

A time.

Yet ironically, the complexities of life are a compilation of these seemingly innocent and effortless instants. Like haphazard quarter notes, our moments string together to form the chords, songs, and ultimately the soundtracks, of our lives.

And if we don’t like the melodies? Well, there’s no one else to blame.

For we are all both composer and conductor of our own songs.

And right now I am looking back at the events of the past few weeks of my dating life, listening to the tune, and thinking to myself, “Who the hell wrote this crap?”

Oh.

Yeah. That would be me.

You see, I had some drama. Nothing horrendous. No one died. But take it from me. The age old adages used to describe infatuation, "falling for someone," "getting a crush," or being "head over heels" are more literal than figurative. Notice all of these analogies suggest behavior that ends in injury. And I do not believe this is accidental.

Because I fell for someone head over heels, got crushed, and landed squarely on my Rock N Republic ass.

Ouch.

And then?

Well, I did what everyone does when something hurts. I cried. And you know what? Bawling is not my favorite pasttime.

Call me crazy.

In the end, the truth is I am not proud of some of my decisions in this story. I trusted too soon. Gave too much too fast. And didn’t protect myself from . . . myself.

Too often people want to blame others for our own fate. Like little children, we want to say, “But he made me do it!”

You know what that is? That’s bullshit.

No one makes you do anything.

I made choices. And the consequences are connected simply to my decisions. No one else’s.

When is life supposed to get easy again? Apparently 36 years isn’t enough time to figure much out if my life is any kind of sampling.

So that’s that.

Here I am. Looking back in time, turning back the clock a few weeks. And trying to unravel the moments that led to my writing such depressingly pathetic music.

Because I plan on deleting this track from my life’s playlist. Instead, I am going sit back down at that keyboard of life. Take some responsibility and learn from my mistakes.

And write a new song.

And you know how I am going to write this one?

One note. One chord.

And one moment.

At a time.